M was easy enough to spot. He's over 6 feet and has curly hair. You can't miss him really. My heart did a sommersault. I couldn't get to him fast enough... the distance between us was unbearable. I literally almost ran to him, but contained myself enough in the airport so as to not look like a completely crazy person. As the distance closed between us I could feel my whole body relax. Finally in his arms and kissing him, everything felt right again. I felt like I was home.
M was waiting for me with Manny. I hadn't even noticed him at first. Manny helped M's dad out while he was in Mexico and was picking me up from the airport because neither M nor I thought it wise to attempt to drive in the streets of Guadalajara. In my excitement to be reunited with M, I didn't even notice when we started walking towards the car, or when M took my bag, or that it was raining outside. All I noticed was his hand in mine and how good it felt to be with him again. I really hadn't thought we would get another chance to be together before I left.
I couldn't bear the thought that we didn't know the last time we slept in his bed would be the last time. Or the last time we'd had sex was the last time I would get to be with him and we didn't know. I'd felt cheated out of a proper goodbye and out of closure. Though, in case you couldn't tell, I certainly wasn't truly ready for it. I was still so in love with M, and I don't think I was even able to recognize just how much I was in love with him at the time. I knew we needed more time together. I needed more time with him. I needed him to know what he meant to me.
We put my back in the car and headed off to the condo. M sat in the back seat with me during the car ride. I couldn't stop touching him. I think I made him hold my hand for the whole 45 minute car ride. Sometimes I used to be sitting right next to M and I could still feel like I wasn't close enough and that I needed to be even closer - three and half years later and I still felt the same way.
The drive to the condo was beautiful and Manny shared some of the local history. Work had taken me to Mexico and forced me to learn the politics and health system and so I was able to share some stories too. M, always my biggest supported egged me on. He was always so proud to let other people know what I did, he loved my accomplishments as if they were his own. It was also nice to share with M some of the places that I had seen for work. I felt like he was able to understand more about my life, my job, my passion for health and why I was leaving to keep pursuing it.
Upon arrival at the condo we went inside and I settled my stuff in M's room. He showed me the rest of the condo and the condo grounds. It was a happy little oasis. I felt my whole body relax. Part of it was being in the warmth of Mexico, but most of it was just being in the same room as M. His energy always made me feel better. I felt calm for the first time since finding out I had gotten into school. My brain quieted a little.
M's dad came to say hi quickly and then left the condo to head to the supermarket and give us some privacy. About a minute after we were sure he was gone we were all over each other. Only problem was, about 2 minutes after that my emails started coming, and my Skype and cell phone stared ringing. Non-stop. It was my boss - freaking out!!!! I was 30 minutes late for a call that I actually hadn't even known about. We were trying to finish a project. I was the lead coordinator. She needed me. I tried to make the call go as quickly as possible... but the moment was lost. Here I was picking work over M, when I was trying so desperately to show him how much he mattered to me. He understood though, it was a work day. It was the last call. He always understood...
By the time I was done M's dad was due back any minute. I stood there feeling lost all over again.
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