We had the conversation sitting in a car. What did it mean to break up? To lose my best friend? To pretend like the person I have relied on every single day for the past 3 and half years wasn't on my mind.
We each had things we needed to accomplish during the year. I had never been with anyone else, and always wondered about it a little. M was my first seriously love. I'd had boyfriends, but I never loved anyone, not the way I loved M.
He came into my life when I needed him the most and he pulled me out of a dark and sad place. He made me laugh again, reminded me how good it felt to be happy. He loved me before I even knew we we're falling in love. He was everything I needed and more.
He put up with my moving around and travelling for work. We were rarely in the same city together for more than 3 months at a time. But we spoke every day all the time. He made me feel better than I ever have. He's the best person I have ever known.
But he came with baggage, a lot of it. A sister who loves to be sick, a dad with type 2 diabetes who spends half the year in Mexico, and a mom, sweeter than sweet, but with her heads in the clouds. I was from an ambitious family. My mother a physician, my dad a multi-national business owner, my sister is a teacher, and my brother was on the way to graduate with an MBA. The level of ambition between the two of us was always an issue. He supported me whole heartedly, but he couldn't seem to do the same for himself or take my support. Some of what we wanted didn't match up in the long run... I knew all this early on, but I loved him too much to leave.
No comments:
Post a Comment